i saw fireworks today :'(

Dear Hein Tje,

Today i sat down infront of the comp again waiting for u.
but today is different i promised myself that i would not be the initiatior in our conversations yet again.
i want to know how much leght would u go to just for me.
appenrently not much. cause when failed on my part and aske u a question first u just said i refused to talk to u.
i really do wonder is it because i refused to talk to you of is it beacuse u did not talk to me first of all?

some time i wonder y do u not love me as much as i love u.
or maybe you do but just nvr showed me in a way that i could understand.

i want what any girl wants. attention and devotion.
i wait all night for u, but u never returned to me eah night.
even if u do. i am but a bourdon of duty.

u have nothing to say to me and many secreats to keep.
u lie to me for attention. do not think for one seccond how guilty i feel to even think it was my fault that u failed?
or maybe that's the whole point. to drive me away with guilt to bring me down to my knees and beg for mercy that u let my heart be.
to bear the pain.

am always waiting for u, standing by u. with a wall that you've built yourself between us. it's so high that u have blinded yourself thinking i do not wish to be with u.
but u must know that everyone has a limit and this is mine. I've stoped initiating because i get no response.
but i will still wait for u to bring that wall down. Hopefully... before it's too late.

Love,
Mei Ling